Friday, 12 June 2015

Relationship Breakdowns


I have been meaning to publish this for sometime, but it laid to close to my heart and hurt a lot to write, My life should have moved on a long time ago when the boys dad walked out, but over time, I am not ashamed to admit it I have put my heart and soul into trying to make our relationship work some may say I was a fool, some may think It was unfair for the boys, even selfish but in my heart I really really wanted things to work.




So as you can gather by the title of this post, it hasn't worked, was it wasted time? Maybe, but I think you have to try. in that time, I realised that we live so far in different lives, the odds were stacked against us from the beginning, everything I wanted from my life, he practically wanted the opposite, not only that but the arguments the words muttered in anger, the moments when you need each other and that other person isn't their, all take pieces out of a bridge that should have been rebuilt, instead they have moved us so far apart I cant even see the other side anymore.

I want you to understand though it was mutual, I think we both realised that there was nothing left to save, we have both in turn have said and done things in our relationship that are probably unforgivable to the other, to the point where we have both become tired and worn people with shattered hearts.

The hardest part for me is understanding that we will never be a family again, I feel sad for the boys sad for me, I'm not going to lie it hurts, it hurts more than anything I have ever experienced in my life, I look around at friends and family and see them in there little families and wish that we still had that, wished we could have been strong enough to stand tall together and to make it work. However I am a firm believer in what is meant to be will be.

I think in all this I have leaned that families come in all shapes and forms one mummy one daddy two daddy's or even two mummies it doesn't matter as long as you are surrounded by love, laughter will follow and things get easier in the end. Breakups will never be easy nor will change, but in the end things happen for a reason, hearts heal emotions change and everything will be as it should be, alright in the end.



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