Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Dealing with Challenging behaviour in children



Parenting is one of the most difficult, but most rewarding things, I think any person can do in their life time there are times when you will laugh, cry, and despair at some of the behaviour your child or children display as they are growing up - sometimes as I know a child's behaviour can push you patience to a new level, there are time with Liam, that I have broke down and cried asked myself what I am doing wrong? or times where I have really wanted to throw something at a wall he has made me that cross in the way he has behaved so I have put together some ideas of how any parent can deal with challenging behaviour in a child and you can use these for any child not just a child with behaviour difficulties like Liam as all children at some point will push there luck to get what they want or try to manipulate situations, or just generally be naughty its all part of growing up.


Always give a child positive attention.


Children who only ever receive negative attention will continue to seek attention that way, they wont care how much you tell them off, as long as they still have your attention so anything they do that is good or great praise them - children love to know when they have done something good and it will encourage them to do it again.

Ignore a child's behaviour when you can, redirect or distract it.

 

Its not always easy to ignore children's behaviour and there are some things that they will do that are dangerous or that might harm someone else, in which you cant ignore but sometimes there are little things you can it isn't always worth the battle, sometimes it is far easier to distract a child or redirect them to a toy than to tackle something that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Allow your child time to process and respond to a request.

 

I know its hard as a parent to always have the time to let your child think about what you have asked of them and sometimes patience is thin if they have been behaving badly most of the day but just as we do children need time to respond to a request and to process it so give them 5 - 10 minutes before you judge what you have asked of them if they have not responded straight the way.

Always say what you want to happen rather than what you want them to stop doing.

 

What I mean is if your child is running ahead, say lets walk rather than stop running - its far better to turn things into positive encouragement rather than making things negative, children love it when there parents are happy with something they have done right and respond in a better manner.

 Give lots of praise for good behaviour.

 

Children beam don't they? when they are told they are doing something amazing or for something that is helping mummy give lots of praise they love it!

Speak firmly don't SHOUT!

 

Its easy to get worked up when your child is doing something that may be annoying you, dangerous, or just down right naughty, but we all know shouting does nothing but makes you more angry - also eventually if you shout at your child the behaviour will be imitated and they will begin shouting at you, children follow by example so be firm and make sure they understand what you have said by getting them to repeat it back to you.

  Look for the signs.

 

If your child is showing signs of frustration or siblings, friends are begining to squabble are for example, try and diffuse the situation before it happens or gets worse.

Show your child appropriate ways of showing emotion and acknowledge, understand why they are upset.

 

Explain to them that you understand why your child is upset and explain the reasons why you have said what you have said, try to tech them to talk about how they are feeling, usually crying in a child is a genuine way of telling you they are upset but explain to them there are better ways to deal with there emotions like talking.

When and then!

 

If you are asking them to do something but your child is focused on a trip or an outing ahead of them, explain to them for instance when you have completed this task then we can go to the park or a walk - always stick to what you say though its important that children trust you.

Have a specific time out corner.

 

I don't give my children a timeout corner as a form of punishment but I do tell them to sit and think about what they have done usually this is enough to make them think about what they have done and appologise, but before they are aloud back in the area I get them to explain to me what they have thought about and make sure they understand and then get to apologise for there actions.


In children there are lots of reasons for bad behaviour it is important to recognise the reasons why they are doing what they are doing sometimes its because of the simplest things, Frustration, fighting for independence, are they hungry? tired? just wanting attention? or maybe they are not feeling very well? all of these things will make your child's behaviour difficult. Watching out for the signs and being able to respond to them appropriately will just make our lives a little bit easier as a parent.




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