Wednesday, 5 March 2014

What do I do? - A challenging day


I said at the beginning of the week that this week was going to be very busy, today has not been any different in fact today has been very emotional for me, today we had a visit from children's services, they are outreach to help support children in the home and to help parents deal with children with challenging behaviour, she started off by running through some questions just simple things like what did Liam struggle with and how I as a parent coped with some of his more challenging behaviour.

Children's services went on to ask about his relationships with people in his life and asked if there was anything else that was bothering myself with Liam. She went on to inform me that the last week there has been a support worker attending the school observing Liam - I had no idea, I knew this would be happening eventually. but nobody had informed me - again mummy feels pushed out of the loop, everyone seems to know more about my child than me.



I asked the lady from children's services if she knew what they had observed at school in regards to Liam's behaviour, she informed me that Liam has virtually no social skills at all, he spends nearly all his time on his own at school he doesn't know how to mix with the other children, he doesn't share, he can't sit still and when all the other children sit down on the mat he won't, I knew that he was not doing so well at school, I just didn't know the extent of how bad things were.

I also knew he didn't socialise very well, but I didn't know he wasn't mixing with any of the other children, I actually feel like my hearts breaking for him, I couldn't help but cry, you want to protect your children, stop them from feeling sad an any way possible - I feel like I can't.
I don't know how Liam is feeling, he does not share the way he feels, as a parent I practically have to drag things out of him to get him to speak to me, is he lonely? Does he feel left out? does he feel sad everyday because he is somewhere he can't or don't know how to communicate with others?

The school are pointing towards ADHD. They are teachers not health care professionals, the health care professionals are thinking it's more than ADHD - I actually have no idea what that means, a part if me is just hoping that they will say he is just very active, but ongoing assessments are the only way we as a family are going to get to the bottom of things.

I was asked if I was working at the moment, as you already know I'm awaiting my CRB check, which I don't think will be that much longer. The lady from children's services spoke to me about the concerns she had about changing Liam's routine and how was asking how I thought he was going to cope with the changes a new job would bring - the health visitor has already expressed some concerns about this, I don't know what to do? Do I put my life on hold? or go to work and be a completely selfish parent knowing that this might, and might being the optimum word set him back more, I really don't have a clue. As parents we are seen as bad if we even so much as think of putting ourselves first.

The thing is, with my job I am thinking of the boys future I can't give them a nice home or a good life if I am at home with them and my job is only two days a week. At the same time I don't want to make Liam's life even more difficult than it has to be. What would you do?

Life as a parent is never easy, I didn't think that things could get this hard. I know that this is only the beginning of a long road ahead - I need to have a long think about the best thing to do for all of us as a family. because right now I really don't know what is the best and right thing to do.

Binky Linky

3 comments:

  1. That's a tough question, but one that every parent has to answer for themselves. There are pro's and con's to each. Perhaps the change of routine would unsettle him, but then again perhaps you would have a better relationship by spending some time apart. Whatever you decide, the choice is not irreversible. One of my little motto's in life is 'what's the worst that could happen?' I give it serious consideration, figure out if I could change it if 'the worst happened', and then decide. Good luck x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that is a very good point i am still thinking about what is the best thing to ,I think I do need to go to work but i am still very undecided xx

      Delete
  2. I wish I had some wise words or helpful advice, but I don't. It's such a difficult position to be in. All us mummies want to do is do the best for our 'babies'. When it's not clear what that 'best' is, it is so hard. It sounds like your little boy is very lucky to have a mummy who loves him so much and who cares enough to make this tough decision xx

    ReplyDelete